Do’s and don’ts when you start liking somebody:

March 8, 2012

  1. Don’t be needy. Nobody wants a clingy, overly sweet person.
  2. In relation to number 1, respect the concepts of personal space, alone time, and quiet. You don’t have to say something just to fill in the silence. Trust me. One way to know if you’re compatible with a person – when being quiet together isn’t at all awkward.
  3. Do not stalk/constantly “chance upon” his/her facebook wall or twitter or other social networking profile. You don’t need to know everything that goes on in his/her little noggin’.
  4. Only text once in a while. Text a “Hey, how are you?” and keep the conversation short. Once you have exchanged niceties (an exchange of two or three text messages is enough), ask the person you like if you can meet up sometime for a meal. It’s always better to continue the conversation in person.
  5. When I say once in a while, I mean maybe twice a week. Everyday is stifling. If the person you like says “No, I can’t meet up because I’m busy/caught up/out of town/etc.”, then drop it, say it’s alright, you can meet up another time, and tell that person to just contact you when he/she is free.
  6. NO means NO. If you want to insist on your point, do it minimally and politely.
  7. When you guys do go out, keep it casual since both of you are still starting out. 
  8. However, do not, and I repeat, do NOT commit the mistake of doing the “Where do you want to eat?” question dance. Seriously. It’s a never-ending, if not rhetorical question that will only lead you to a sub-par restaurant you chose to make-do for the evening. Always have a place in mind already. It saves time and it makes you look prepared/like you have a plan.
  9. Do the check-dance. The feeling of the check going back and forth is somewhat flattering (i.e. “Aaawww, he/she wants to pay for me! I feel so loved/appreciated!” or “This person really enjoyed hanging out with me so he/she’s paying for me!”)
  10. Don’t do all the chasing, because…
  • It will get boring for you and for the person you like at some point.
  • It will get tiring, and your bank account will be drained.
  • The person you like might get creeped out. Give him/her some time to decide if he/she really likes you.
  • You get to know how hard the other person is willing to work to keep you around.

Damn, I wanted to stop at 10, but this just popped into my head. In summary…

11. No matter how important the person you like is to you, never EVER let it show. I don’t care if you think that he/she is the sun of your universe or that he/she is more important than the air you breathe. Always show that you can stand alone, independently, and that you can carry yourself well in this world. A strong character is always the most alluring, even if inside you’re just grovelling at the other person’s feet, inwardly begging his/her heart and soul to just give you a tiny shred of love. In other words, play it cool. You wouldn’t want to smother the love of your life with your romantic and sweeping declarations of affection, right?

Remember that these are steps only to be followed when you start liking somebody. These rules may and most likely will change through the course of time. Also, please follow at your own risk. I’m not saying these set of rules apply to everybody, but hey, they sure work for me. Take from it what you will.


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