It’s been a while

August 31, 2012

… since I’ve won something or felt appreciated. Is that sad? Especially from someone I really really really respect, i.e. a professor, more specifically a senior professor in the Literature department. I swear to God, I will miss my HUMALIT class. I will miss the friends I’ve made, I will miss the lessons, the readings, and most especially my professor. Lord, that man is brilliant. He’s witty, and funny, and intelligent, and absolutely fabulous. Also, he appreciates my talent, which is otherwise shunned in the cold realm of engineering.

Today, I won extra points and chocolate for the following awards:

– Best Actress in the Drama Festival for my portrayal of Gonzalo in Three Rats by Wilfrido Guerrero
– Nominated for Poetry Idol for Section EN
– Best in Recitation for my critical and in-depth contributions to class discussions
– Ideal student (OMG I AM AN IDEAL STUDENT HAHAHA This was my favorite award because it just shows how different I am when I do something I like. I am like, the worst student to have when it comes to my major subjects.)
– I also vied for the Class achiever award since I was one of the two people in that section to get a 4.0.

My group also won the following awards:
– Best Play in the Drama Festival for Three Rats
– Technical Achievement Award for Three Rats

I AM JUST SO PROUD OF ALL OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS! I love this class so much that I even regret that one, like ONE time I cut class. It was July 10, Tuesday. I wish I hadn’t, because I just love attending that class and learning new things. I swear. It’s the most fun I’ve had in university that was actually academic-related in a really long time.

Sir Ronald Baytan, I will never forget you. Your advice is always relevant. I promise not to pass on my dreams to my children. I’ve had my chance, and they should dream their own dreams. I promise to do good because that is what is morally right, not because I expect some sort of reward (or chocolate). I promise to remember that the greatest rewards are those that are eventually received in heaven. I promise to keep reading and to keep supporting the arts. I really wish our paths would cross again someday. I will keep all my readings with all my messy scribbles. It’s amazing how every text jumps off the page when you begin to explain its true meaning. Suddenly those words seem to come alive, and I’m opened to this whole new world I never knew existed. Every time I’m in class, I am just amazed at the real meaning of the text, at what lies beneath the superficial exterior of plain words – its social and cultural context, its relevance, how it reflects our lives. It’s simply mind-blowing! I will miss talking to you after class about social binaries, challenging the status quo, etc. I will miss your incessant emails and maybe even your 3/4 sleeved polos.

Bianca, Francine, Martin, Vincent, Raf, and Lyndon. I swear. I never expected I’d get so close to you guys. For some inexplicable reason, we just clicked and just wow! I find it weird that we came together without really knowing anything about each others’ past, but I think that’s what makes us different and great. We just bonded and I have a lot of fun when I’m with you guys. I hope this term wouldn’t be our last term together. I really want to still hang out with you guys in the future. Just remember I’m just a call or text away. We may lead separate lives after this term, but we’ll always have the past three months to look back on as fun times.

I swear. This term wouldn’t have been the same without HUMALIT EN. We’re special. Guh, if the entire class was a singular entity right now, I’d be hugging it already.

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Irony

August 2, 2012

I miss your eyes.

I miss your hands.

I miss your fingers.

I miss your voice.

I miss how your voice sounds in person.

I miss your smile.

I miss your eyelashes.

I miss the clothes you wore.

I miss the songs you used to play.

I miss the games we used to play.

I miss the things you said.

I miss your advice.

I miss your jokes.

I miss your wit.

I miss your sensibility.

I miss spending time with you.

I miss how it was just the two of us.

I miss how it was just about us.

And that whole time feels like it just slipped through my fingers. I was going through the whole experience half awake, and I only remember it like a dream. It’s hazy in my head, and I don’t remember the exact words you said.

It’s different doing something fully knowing that it’s the first and last time you’ll be doing it.

The first and the last.

Because you only go down that road once.

There’s only one me.

But more importantly, there’s only one you.

First of August

August 1, 2012

I spent nine hours in the Magic studio last night, just like how I initially planned a month ago when I was just dreaming of boarding. Get to the studio at 9, go on air for The Strikezone from 10 to 2, then stay on with The Daybreak Sounds until 6 to take a cab home with the sun up. I never thought I’d actually do it, but I did. I just did, and I think it’ll be the last time I’ll ever do that. I don’t think Pat was too happy with me bending the rules. After all, I still didn’t have a ride home. I’ll never have a ride home. Nobody knew I was up there until six.

I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to wake up for my 11.20 class when I got home at 6.30. True enough, I woke up at 11.15, panicked and whatnot. Then I went online and found out school suspended classes from 11.20 onwards. Talk about luck. Seriously. It’s like it was meant to be.

So I got to sleep the whole day and it’s 8 in the evening and I just rolled out of bed.

For some strange reason, I want to go back to the studio and do it all over again. Even though it’s really far and commuting isn’t the best in the world because of the ridiculous weather, I still want to go back and spend 9 hours there. No problem. Something just feels right when I’m there… like I don’t care whatever else happens because I was doing what I loved to do, and I was with people with whom I loved being with.

Half of my body already feels like it’s already being pulled back to that chair in the booth.

I wouldn’t exchange those 9 hours for anything.